


THE SUMMER BEFORE '77

by ikeeplosingmymind



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bellatrix Lestrange - Freeform, Best friend's brother, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Gryffindor, Half-Blood, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Honeydukes, House of Black, Interhouse Unity, King's Cross Station, London, Muggle-born, Narcissa Black - Freeform, Potions, Pre-Canon, Pureblood Supremacy, Quidditch, Regulus Black - Freeform, Slytherin, andromeda black - Freeform, cross houses, forced enemies, sirius black - Freeform, slowburn, slytherdor, snitch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28252377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeeplosingmymind/pseuds/ikeeplosingmymind
Summary: "Salazar, I'd give my right arm to hate you.""For a pureblood of his stature, he seems to enjoy chasing you."Ever since his first year, there was always something drawing him to his brother's friend group. Bonaria Timbbs was an odd choice - she was not a pureblood, and was in the house he felt most disdain for. But everytime he was sat down to meet another pureblood family and their potential suitors, all he could think about was her red robes and soft hands.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black/Bonaria Timbbs, Regulus Black/OC
Kudos: 1





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> i have visuals on the Wattpad story @/ikeeplosing :) i edit, compile and format all the photos myself!

Quidditch matches in James Potter's time were notorious for being in unbelievably inconvenient weather. The only thing that made the matches enjoyable were Remus, Peter and Sirius' company, considering the rain and lighting made it hard to see the action happening on the field, unless James decided to make a show and glide right over the Gryffindor stands to impress Lily and catch a high-five from Sirius. 

When James was too high up to be seen from the stands, Sirius cracked jokes and Remus tried to cheer me up for James' capes sprinkling water over me. I always swore that was going to be my last match I'd ever go to watch James, but my claims never pulled through, of course. 

"Not long, now!" Remus assured me after we took turns trying to squeeze the pool soaked up by my skirt. "Look, you can see James coming back down, and - "

"And there's that pipsqueak by him," Sirius interrupted, straightening up, squinting as he spotted the two on their brooms chasing after the snitch that shone brilliantly in its glory and importance even through the fog and storm. 

I stood up with Sirius, almost distracted by my worry for him as I caught sight his knuckles close to bursting through his whitened skin as he gripped the railing of the stands, watching carefully, willing James to bump past Regulus, hoping Regulus to slow down, urging some force to push his brother off his broom, maybe. As much as all of us avoided saying it, the only team that stood a chance against James was Slytherin. And that was because of Regulus Black. So when Young Wizards Weekly found out who held the place of James Potter, star Seeker's best friend and doubtless future best man, they had a field day. In fact, the only people who enjoyed that information more than the company was the people who paid for the stupid tabloid. 

I blinked, so I missed it, and wouldn't have known it had happened at all if it wasn't for the green Goblins erupting in thunderous cheer across the field, cackling in victory and pointing mockingly at the Gryffindor stands. I felt my heart sink, my eyes searching the sky for James, hoping he wasn't going to take the loss hard - he was only about an inch away from winning, I could reason with him, maybe if Lily saw that he'd feel better. But instead of finding the damp red cloth that was heavy against an already sulking boy's body hovering above us, my eyes darted to the grinning Slytherin who seemed to be glowing, grasping the pair of wings tight in his hand like a child clinging to a bird they've caught. I convinced myself it was the rain falling in my eyes, but I thought I saw his eyes scanning the Gryffindor stands and halting on me. 

Sirius gripped my hand and dragged me off my seat, and I grabbed at Remus' hand so him and Peter knew to follow along. James was already descending to the ground, ready to storm off like the sore loser he was, and I knew he might have already started crying. 

"Won't he want to be alone?" I asked loudly, over the sound of the rain banging down on the canopy set over the seats. I was dumb to have gotten upset over getting wet from James' big show earlier, I was being dragged through the rain and mud now to go search for James anyway. 

"I don't bloody care," Sirius yelled above the noise, and I struggled to lift my feet above the sinking mud. 

"Sirius, Aria is sunken down to her knees, we can't keep going," Remus called from behind me, still holding tight on my sleeve. Sirius barely looked back toward us before letting go, and fighting his way through the rain to go find James. 

"We're soaked," I frowned, wiping down my wet hands on my also wet robes. 

"Come on, the castle is just a bit over there, let's quickly make it back," Remus said loudly so Peter and I could both hear, just when I felt a gust of wind almost knock us both back a bit. I looked up to see the very person who caused us to be stranded on the muddy ground, hovering above us on his broomstick. He had a hand held out toward me. 

"I'll take you back to the castle quickly," he said, before glancing to Remus as if asking for permission. 

Remus took my arm and placed my hand in Regulus', and yelled into my ear, "We'll see you in the common room." 

I hopped onto the back of his broom and bunched my hands into his seeker robes tight, before he launched us in the direction of the castle. It had been a while since I'd sat on a broom, and hadn't anticipated how much harder It would be to hold onto James when it was raining. I leaned all my weight against Regulus and wrapped my arms tight around him, shutting my eyes so the raindrops cutting my skin wouldn't make it into my eyes. It was a much shorter time than I expected before we were under shelter, and Regulus was landing us softly onto the dry ground. 

I slowly let go of him and landed onto my own feet, leaving muddy footprints on the ground and finally letting out the breath I was holding. 

"Are you alright?" He asked surprisingly gently. 

"Yes, just a bit muddy and sodden," I replied, squeezing out my sleeve. 

"You should have a change of clothes when you get back to your dormitory," he said, and I only nodded, still staring down at my clothes instead of looking up at him. 

Sirius had pressed it into our heads not to speak to his family when they were ins school with us, but my manners had been pressed even tighter. 

"Thank you for taking me back to the castle," I said, peeking up at him. 

"It's no problem," he replied, his hands folding behind his back. "It did look like it was hard to walk back there." 

"Yes," I muttered, "Sirius was just worried about James and we wanted to go look for him."

"Ah," Regulus replied, and then it was quiet for a moment. "I . . . well. I also wanted to um . . ." He picked my hand up from my side and put something in my palm. It was warm and tight, and when I looked down at it it glimmered gold and fluttered its wings.

My eyes went as wide as saucers when I realized what it was and the gravity that had settled between us. "Wh-what's this for?" I asked, staring at him and showing my puzzlement. 

"The snitch. From the game today. I won," he said, watching me carefully. "Well, we won, yeah."

"But why would you give it to me?"

Regulus scratched the back of his neck and looked away, now clearly embarrassed of what he'd done. Before he could even say anything, roars of cheers travelled down the corridor toward us, and upon turning around, I saw several Slytherin students, some in Quidditch uniforms and some dry and proper in their academic uniforms, ambling toward us. Some of them sent pointed looks at me, and the rest simply ignored me. "Theres our star!" Emma Vanity beamed, slapping Regulus on the back. I took Vanity's large presence as an opportunity, and slipped away from them all, trailing mud behind me until my soles cleared up and I hurriedly made my way to the Gryffindor tower.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

"We missed you yesterday?" Remus said as soon as I sat down in the seat at the Gryffindor table for breakfast.

"I had some sweets from the last Hogsmeade trip, I had that for tea," I replied, fixing my hair over my shoulder a bit.

"Did you dip your fingers into the spoiling stock?" James yelled through his mouthful of toast as he straightened up, frowning.

"Yes, I did," I snapped back, and ignoring his whining that followed, I pulled out a caramel bar and slid it across the table toward him. He continued to mutter about how it wasn't fair I could break into our savings for when sweets were needed on a boring weekend night as he discreetly grabbed the bar and shoved it into his sticky robe pocket.

"Anyway, new plan for this weekend." James' face changed like a switch was flicked, and he perked up.

"There is one?" Peter asked, face creasing in confusion.

"I'll need a pick-me up til the end of the year," James said, eyes shooting to the entry to the dining hall, and then ruffling his hair quickly. I eyed the entrance, watching Lily walk in calmly and prettily.

"I don't think she likes messy hair like that, James," I said. "Girls generally don't fancy a man who can't take care of himself."

"Alright, but I can," James said, frowning. "My hair is messy because I'm an athlete, don't you see. It's the best way to show it off."

I watched Lily walk past us while chatting to Snape, not sparing a glance in James' sorry direction. Although James had made it clear he thought she wqs pretty since our first year, I never trusted him to believe he wanted to actually get serious with someone. He always seemed distracted from her whenever she was brought into conversation, I noticed. But when he'd began to express how he truly felt, I felt more sympathy.

"Hear me out," I said, turning back to James, "I just want you to be successful in your pursuit." I put my hand on Sirius' arm. "You see how my dormmates like Sirius, don't you? His hair is pretty. It goes well with his face, and he took interest in taking care of it and pampering it."

James' brow furrowed. "So . . . I should grow my hair out."

"No," I said. "You should style it. And see what you like. If you like how you look, she'll pay attention."

"I do like how I look," James said, frowning.

"Do you?" I rolled my eyes. "Then why are you glaring at Pucey everytime you're playing Slytherin?"

He glared at me now. "Because hair doesn't just stay that way in Quidditch!"

"And because Lily stares at him sometimes," Remus added, not paying much attention to the conversation despite listening.

"Vanity charms exist, my child," I concluded smugly.

"Vanity charms are for girls," he huffed.

"Is that why boys look like toenails at the best of times?" I replied, shooting my fiercest angry face at James. "imagine the steps ahead you could get by using those. I bet you most of the seventh year boys who are on Quidditch use those charms."

"Maybe I will," he murmured, now deep in thought. "Maybe . . ."

I lifted my eyes away from James and immediately they landed on Regulus diagonally behind him. He was reading while the boys around him discussed things boisterously. My cheeks heated and heart jumped.

If Sirius knew I had feelings for Regulus, it could go one of two ways; either I would be killed, or Regulus. Or both. If that happened, we would buried next to each other.

"Hey, Sirius," I said, turning to him. "Does Regulus talk to you a lot at home?"

"No," he muttered. "He's pathetic, really. I wouldn't be surprised he becomes a deatheater before graduating. He's nothing but a sheep."

"Regulus, a deatheater?" I asked, startled.

"That's all my parents want, and all he lives for is affirmation from other people." He said it like it was nothing, shrugging it off effortlessly. "Why are you asking about him, anyway."

"I was just wondering, that's all."

"Don't bring him up again."

Regulus. A deatheater. I couldn't see someone as gentle and soft as he seemed as a deatheater. His pale skin was never marked or scarred and his smile brought too much joy to have his future set as a deatheater. I wanted to grab Sirius and tell him not to allow a curse like that exist in the world.

*

It was finally the end of the week, and I'd started my countdown to be able to get a day off from school and carrying Peter, James and Sirius through the lessons they never wanted to pay attention to. James and Sirius were smart and caught up for exams, but throughout the year you would have been fooled into thinking they were the bottom students. Peter was my main concern.

"Can't we go to bed, yet?" James asked through a yawn as he lied his head down on the table in the Gryffindor common room. It was past midnight now, and even though I knew for a fact James and Sirius kept Remus and Peter up much, much later than this most nights in their play up in the dorms, I considered letting the three go.

"Yes, let us go to bed," Sirius sighed, flopping himself onto James and shutting his eyes too.

"No, not until Peter gets through the trial quiz, I've told you," I said, eyes not leaving the sheet of paper he was worrying his lip over. I pointed the tip of my pencil to one of the blanks, "This plant is easy to remember, Peter, look - Mimbulus Mimbletonia - "

"Warty oozy warts," James called loudly, his voice muffled from his face being pressed into the table, but I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Yes, whatever," I muttered. "You just have to remember the stuff that comes out's name, which is also easy."

Sirius groaned and grunted as he launched himself back into his seat, kicking his legs. "can't we continue tomorrow? You can show us these plants and stuff in the greenhouse."

"Bog off, Sirius, you're not even taking Herbology," I spat.

"Free courses, then!" he snapped back.

"You're the worst!" I yelled, glaring at him. "just sit down and be quiet."

"Would you lot stop yelling?"

Lily Evans was standing in the doorway to the girls dorms in her pajamas, her hair tied up sweetly and the freckles sitting flatteringly on her face almost invisible with how dimly lit the room was. "it's the middle of the night, why aren't you in bed?"

"Aria is teaching us," Sirius said at the same time James sat up and said, "Hi, Evans."

Lily blinked at James, then turned to me. "You should go to sleep."

"You're right," I replied, "But these three have been on a good streak this evening, I'm desperate to keep it going just a little more." I offered an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I'll make sure we all shut up."

She smiled in return. "Good luck, Bonaria."

James watched her walk back up the stairs to the girls' dormitories, his neck turned so far it looked like his head was about to screw off his shoulders. Then he turned back to me, betrayal in his face. "Give me the instructions on how to take her on a date."

"Listen, James, the sorting hat said I could fit into Ravenclaw, and I think that's why you are strung onto me so tight," I said calmly, nodding when Peter had scribbled the name of two more plants successfully, identifying them from the clues the test offered. "Without me, for all I know you four would've been expelled by now."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James mumbled as he took a bite out of the gummy snake melting into his fingers.

"If it wasn't for me, you'd charge right to Lily and ask her out every week," I said, then leaned across the table toward him, keeping eye contact and speaking very intensely to emphasise my point. "My advice for you, and take this seriously - show your kind side when she's in front and behind you. You're good looking and loud enough, she would most definitely pay attention to you because of that."

"She may have a point," Peter said.

Sirius blinked. "Maybe try it, Prongs. It sounds reasonable."

James huffed and crossed his arms. "Fine. I'll do my hair nicely tomorrow and be a decent human." Then, he turned to me. "If Evans doesn't say yes, you owe me."

"If she doesn't say yes within the first two months of the new term, I'll give you the brewed amortentia for free and we'll stick to the plan."

"Deal," James grinned, and licked the palm of his hand before holding it out to me. I pulled his sleeve out to cover it up, and slapped his hand into a handshake.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

I woke up the next morning in shock and immobile because I had the weight of three teenage boys on my body.

"TIMBBS, YOU'RE LATE."

I stared at Sirius as his hair hung low, almost touching my face, and when James hopped onto his back I grunted at the pressure and the tickle of the silky follicles brushing my cheeks.

"Get the fuck off of me you monsters," I choked out.

Peter hopped onto James' back, grinning too. I started to reconsider my decisions up to this point, and wondered if I could disown the group for a weekend of sleep.

"No, it's Hogsmeade trip today, we have to go and plot."

"And plan," James added.

"And sweets!" Peter finished.

"I'm too bloody tired," I hissed. "And would you get off me, you fat lumps, my organs are being squished." Remus took hold of Sirius' collar and tugged him off of me swiftly, so the two other boys along with the instigator of my almost assassination tumbled along onto the floor of the dorm on top of each other.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes as my feet hung off my bed. "What time is it?"

"Already quarter to ten," James said.

"We had the decency to wait until your dorm mates left before sneaking in, and for that the payment will be you have to sneak us back out," Sirius grinned, chest puffed.

"I'd rather lick a toad," I muttered, rolling over back in my bed.

"You can't do that, Aria, you know the rules," James said in a taunting tone, hands on his hips knowing his privilege in the situation. And because of that, it wasn't twenty minutes before I was practically being dragged off the castle grounds, James and Sirius holding onto one of my arms and Remus and Peter following behind, me being the only person who wasn't enjoying the day already.

"Care to share the agenda, Prongs?" Sirius practically sang as we descended the steep hill to the whomping willow.

"Our first stop is the shack, Dumbledore's asked us to drop something off before going back to London for the summer, and then The Three Broomsticks, a butterbeer will wake you up enough. Then, we'll go see if we can get some ingredients for the potion ingredients to replace the ones we'd stolen from last time, and then we'll go to Honeydukes and Zonko's."

"I did not apply for a full day of errands when I woke up this morning," I yawned, letting my sneakered feet drag behind me while the two boys kept pulling me across the grass, unphased. I shut my eyes and hoped to get a few more minutes of sleep while we went through the willow, but after we got through, they tossed me to the ground. "Stop sleeping!" James demanded.

"Just a short nap here," I hummed, patting the ground. Remus sighed, and grabbed hold of my wrist.

"There is no reason to throw people into dust," he said, and pulled me to my feet, brushing down my front. I smiled at him like I would my mother, and followed by straightening myself up correctly.

Peter offered me a little piece of butterscotch from the satchel he was carrying on his shoulder that we were using to carry our treats back to the dorms.

"Thanks, Pete," I said, and popped it into my mouth, let the glory melt on my tongue, then glared at the two tallest boys who were tapping their feet and tsking, looking at their imaginary watches and shaking their heads to show they were not here to wait for me to compose myself. "You two are the biggest bullies I'd ever met."

"We're here to humble you," James said, bowing, and Sirius grinned and followed.

"Yes, you can't expect to be treated as a queen all the time," The mop of black curls added.

"I never am treated like a queen, you bloody bimbos," I replied, aiming my fiercest glare at them. 

"You should hear the Quidditch boys talk about you," Peter mumbled, and James shot him a look.

I turned to James quizzically. "I set them in their place," James only said, and turned on his heel, walking down the narrow tunnel to the shrieking shack. "No questions."

I blinked at the back of his broad shoulders, and steadied my own satchel around my shoulders as I hopped ahead, keeping up in-step with him and his long, spindly legs. "No, I'd like to ask some questions. What do your Quidditch friends say about me?"

"It truly doesn't matter," Sirius jutted in.

"Yes, it doesn't matter if it's coming from the person who doesn't have interest in spending time with the snobs in the teams," I shot back, then turned back to James. "But really, Prongs, what do they say?"

He rolled his eyes, but his expression hardened. "Just stupid stuff, you know all that," he replied. "I just think it's stupid. You're not all they say you are, anyway, one sleepover with your night winds is enough to prove it."

"My night wind is at least much quieter and smells more pleasant than yours, Potter," I replied, wrinkling my face as deeply as I could, but the blush on my cheeks wouldn't be hidden by that, I knew.

"You don't fancy any of them, anyway, do you?" Sirius said, leaning forward so he could speak directly to me, peeking down at me from in front of James as he strode right between us. "So, it doesn't matter for you at all."

"Who do you fancy, Aria?" Remus asked, him and Peter now only a step away from us.

"Nobody," I lied.

"You're lying," James said.

"I'm not," I insisted, turning away from the four of them.

"You always blink three times when you lie," Sirius said in a teasing tone, his grin spreading from ear to ear.

"Why would it be any of you lot's business what my taste in men is?" I muttered. "It's none of you, anyway. I don't waste my time on silly, stupid boys."

"And yet you can't go to Hogsmeade without at least one of us to hang on to," James teased. "We all know you still think the shack is haunted."

"And that you always go around the fourth floor perfects restrooms unless at least two of us are with you."

"And that you're scared of the dungeons, unless all four of us are with you," Remus added.

"And that you get too shy to speak to the counter lady when you want to buy anything from any shop so James has to do it," Peter seemed to want to take a jab at me today, too.

"Listen, it's not my fault I was raised not to be a complete psychopath," I said loudly, to cut everyone off. "I have actual fears, unlike you, emotionless oddities."

James leaned on me and threw his arm heavily over my shoulders. "Oh, don't be that way, Honey, You may not last a day without us . . . "

"But we wouldn't last without you, either!" The rest chanted to finish the sentiment.

*

The shrieking shack, although I knew was completely empty and safe, probably considering its created reputation safer than the castle itself, was still as eerie inside as you would expect. The groans and moans the floorboards let out on occasion still made me jump and even as an animagus, it was that terrifying. I didn't like having nobody behind me when I stood in the room we always gathered when Remus had to undergo his transformation. The four understood this, and I always got sat comfortably on Sirius' snout.

"Can't we put a flower vase in here, or something?" I asked, rubbing my arm. "I think even the Shrieking Shack deserves a bit of hospitality it's by itself so much of the time already."

"If this place was capable of having any human emotions, it would take your flowers and swallow them down like pills," Sirius said, straightening up and stretching his back after placing a heavy item by the front door so it was blocked off properly and all our bases were covered.

"What kind of flowers?" Peter asked from beside me.

"Well, I was thinking some Daffodils would brighten this place up best," I said, smiling at him. "Red roses might be too intense. What do you think?"

"I don't know many flowers," he replied sheepishly.

"That's okay, James knows even less," I told him, effectively cheering him up and ignoring the fact that James most definitely heard my insult.

"Name me five flowers other than a Lily," Remus said, interrupting James' protests as his chin jutted out teasingly at the whiner, watching him stumble.

"Those ones in the common room," James said.

"Those are red cotton balls on sticks," I said, and Sirius snorted. I turned to him then, narrowing my eyes. "Don't act like you didn't think they were sweets the first time you saw them."

James roared with laughter, slapping Sirius' arm and bending over dramatically. It was clearly just his simple revenge for everyone making fun of him for not being good at something.

"Can't we go get some chocolate, now?" I sighed, fixing my sleeves.

"No, that's the reward for when we finish our errands," James said while we all made our way to the back-door of the shack to leave. I hurried my pace to go in front of Remus as he left a space between himself and Peter so I wouldn't be the last to get out.

"But it would take forever," I groaned, catching up with James. "And I haven't had breakfast."

"Don't be such a baby," James sighed, then shoved the door open, and gestured for all of us to get out. He stepped out first, though, of course.

The Three Broomsticks never was that packed in the mornings, considering most of the students who visited Hogsmeade's routines were to have refreshments when they tired themselves out enough to need sustenance. If not at teatime, the busiest hours for The Three Broomsticks was very early morning when people got in to get a warm pastry or cup of tea. An hour and a half before lunchtime was the perfect hour for us.

Upon entering, James waved cheerily at the Madam Rosmerta behind the counter, and she beamed back, asking what it would be that morning for the five of us.

"Three butterbeers and a hot chocolate and one tea," James announced, glowing in the superiority of being the main speaker for us. Peter being a timid boy made it hard for him to order, me because I liked to script what I said and that took too long, and Remus and Sirius just not being bothered enough to be too friendly with all the shop owners and keepers.

Before sitting down and as James was speaking to the her, I scanned the room absent-mindedly, trying to see if I recognized any of the girls or boys. It was harder without their uniforms, I couldn't narrow down who to who by their houses. As I squinted my eyes, I spotted the Golley sisters, sitting with two boys I was sure I'd seen at the Hufflepuff table, then a few recognizable Ravenclaw sixth-years sitting over a piece of parchment that looked like a map. Apart from that, I couldn't recognize many of the other people sitting at tables scattered across the business, and assumed some or most of them were likely the village residents. But then my eyes landed on a head of dark curls and a dark green sweater, his grey eyes meeting mine.

It felt like a forceful line of intimacy was joining our eyes and refused to let us break it. Even though he was all the way across the floor, and I was by the front door. He also was sitting with a girl.

I pulled my view away from him, turning around so I was facing my friends.

"Where shall we sit, then?" Sirius said.

"By the stairs, over there," James said, already making his way in the direction where Regulus was sitting. I wondered if they'd noticed him, and I considered saying we should sit somewhere further away from him.

"Could I read that?" I asked Remus as I kept my head down, refusing to look up, holding my hand out to Remus' book. It was a borrowed library book about ancient ruins, and I had no interest in it, but anything to make me look too busy to be approachable was an aid to my discomfort.

Even when we'd all sat down, I didn't look up from the random page of the ancient ruins book I'd flipped to, my eyes scanning the illustrations of what the plot of land looked like as of 1937, and how it used to look hundreds of years ago on the opposing page. The text looked blurred and messy to me because of how little I cared.

"I thought you hated history," Remus said, leaning on his elbow as he peered at the page I was on.

"It can be fascinating," I shrugged, feeling heat creep up my neck and my hairs raising because I could still feel the stare of his icy grey eyes. The girl he was with was pretty. I wondered who she was. Why would he do some of the things he's done to and for me, if he was interested in someone else? I considered finding out who she was so I could think more deeply about what to do and whether or not to take that snitch he'd gifted me seriously.

Perhaps he even meant for me to give it to James as an apology for beating him that close.

Of course, I grumbled to myself. Had I actually considered Regulus Black could have feelings for me? What kind of conceited, narcissistic -

Sirius shoved a pint of butterbeer under my nose, causing the book to shift. "Are you thinking of something important?" he asked.

I stared at the frothy top of my butterbeer, knowing James had paid for it as a treat and a silent apology for pulling me out of bed to only throw me on the dirt. James admitted he realized the importance of showing his gratitude for his friends at the end of our second year when I'd given each of them poorly knitted sweaters with a shy thanks for being my friends. It was the first and only time I'd seen James cry in front of me, because he saw Sirius cry.

"I rarely do, nowadays," I muttered guiltily. "So, no. Not really."

I heard the sound of chairs dragging, and looked up briefly. Regulus was standing up and so was the girl he was with.

"What's your favourite Honeydukes chocolate, Aria?" Remus asked me, pinching my sleeve lightly.

"It's hard to say," I said, perking up and feeling grateful to be in a new conversation with him. "I actually quite like the chocolate frog taste."

"Well, that explains so much!" Sirius sneered. "Your taste is awful!"

I glared at him. "Alright, says the person who doesn't even choose chocolate, ever," I snapped.

"That's a special case and you know it," Sirius bellowed.

"That immediately is very telling that you are underneath me," I concluded, crossing my arms.

Sirius gaped at me like a fish, and a petty argument ensued. I enjoyed arguments with Sirius because he was quite funny and sometimes instead of continuing to argue we collapsed over each other with unstoppable peals of laughter. But this one was extra nice, because I was distracted from what I didn't want to think about. The way that he looked at me when we eventually hushed down, my butterbeer barely sipped through and his almost finished, told me he knew that too. I didn't watch as Regulus stepped out of the pub.

*

The inevitable change of plans landed with all five of us visiting Tomes and Scrolls to look for a more informative book about certain potions we weren't meant to learn for a long time, and the side effects along with maybe easy to read recipes and procedures, and how exactly they worked.

"There's a book about toads and reproduction," Sirius giggled to James. The two were snickering over the reproductive books, Remus and Peter off to another corner I wasn't sure to do what, so I was left alone to browse according to my own interests. I enjoyed having the chance to do that. I liked my time with the four immensely, but to be stuck to them all the time, it was exhausting. It was different when it came to the relationship between James and Sirius or Sirius and Remus, and when it was Peter with the others it was easy - they just spoke and Peter listened with shining eyes. But if I spent too much time with James or Sirius, we butted heads too hard. Too much time with Peter and I started to feel guilty for not being flexible enough in conversation for him to be able to express his interests with me.

Running my finger along the spine of the books on display, feeling the veritable textures of aged leather, I felt someone's hand land on my shoulder.

Turning toward him, he'd leaned down and whispered, "I didn't think you would come."

I shrugged his hand off. "What do you want, Black."

"Did you see the girl I was with back there?" He asked, his hands burying themselves in the pocket of his green sweater.

I nodded.

"It wasn't a date. Or, it at least wasn't one I wanted to go on," he said, his eyes meeting mine. "She's a pureblood my parents tried to get me to take out."

I still didn't say anything, turning back to the books and their titles printed onto the spines. He sighed.

"I'm sorry. If I'd known this weekend I'd be lumped with it I would've asked you to meet me another time," he told me, scuffing the tip of his shoe on the wood floor.

The snitch was sitting warm and nestled in my satchel, buried deep under the other things I'd stuffed into it to hide the shine it gave off.

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked simply. "We aren't even anything, so why would you think it matters?" The tip of my finger turned white with the pressure I was holding against the books. "And I said no, anyway."

He only watched me, hie eyes never leaving my face even though I refused to look at him. "Why did you say no?"

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Regulus smelt like bottled fragrance and pinewood. I wondered if the butterbeer he was drinking was still a flavour stuck on his tongue, and if she had licked it off before I ever could.

"Is it because of Sirius?"

"Not my entire life is revolving around them, Black," I said firmly and coldly, looking at him as impassively as my heart allowed. "Stop assuming just because Sirius doesn't like you, I would use that as a excuse to hate you, too."

He leaned forward a bit. My heart thundered in my ears and I yelled at myself inside my head not to let him do this. It was ridiculous, unnecessary and I hated it. "If I could hate you back, I truly would."

"Why don't you?" I replied sharply, but still didn't step back.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "Salazar, I'd give my right arm to hate you."

Regulus was definitely prettier than Sirius.

"Fuck off, you supremacist," I hissed, insisting on sounding as threatening as I could, embodying as much of Sirius Black as I could muster, building myself up to be scary, scary enough to throw him backward and keep him away.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you won't feel anything for me, and we will never speak again," Regulus said. "I want an answer."

I exhaled through my nose. Lying was so easy, I was used to it. But I couldn't do it as naturally as I could with anyone else if Regulus was watching me like he cared enough to notice if I was being honest or not.

Sirius' hand gripping onto Regulus' shoulder ended our conversation cleanly and with no warning, and I felt a bit tense, but simultaneously relieved. "What are you doing here."

"Nothing," Regulus replied, easily making eye contact with Sirius.

"Leave her alone, then," Sirius said simply, pushing him to the side by the shoulder, and stepped closer to me. He didn't look at Regulus as he took my wrist and pulled me along, keeping me safe close to him and James.

"You won't believe the son of a bitch that decided to hold her hostage," Sirius said, his hold so tight on my wrist that I started to feel pressure on it as if it would snap.

"Who?" James asked, peering around us. "Snivellus?"

"That fucking sheep."

James pursed his lips and shifted on his feet, looking down at me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, and pulled my hand out of Sirius' grip. I felt pressure on my chest as I kept my head ducked, worried Sirius would be angry the rest of the day now. He hated his brother. He hated his brother so much that he didn't even bother himself with taunting him. The type of hate he had for Regulus was different to the type of hate he had for any other Slytherin.

More than I felt worry and anxiousness for Sirius' mood the rest of the day, I was worried about the way I was acting and treating this. Everytime Regulus touched me it felt like I was burning and didn't want to put it out. Pretending it was out of hatred was so much easier than facing the truth of how he made me feel.

Remus and Peter ambled toward us now, laughing at something that was in one of the books Remus held cozily in his expansive hand, but they turned quiet when they saw the look on Sirius' face.

"What's happened?" Remus asked.

"I think I'm going to go back to the castle," I said, taking my satchel back from Sirius and pulling it back over my head to hold on my shoulder. "I feel a bit ill and I haven't packed anything for going home."

"I could go back with you," Remus offered, passing the book he was holding into Peter's arms. "I'll help you pack your things up, too."

I expected James to protest, either to wave me off and say I could go back to my dorm by myself safely, or whine about wanting us both to stay for a bit at least until we'd gotten our Zonko's items for the next biggest trick. I knew he was itching to do something big before next week ended and we didn't have victims milling about everywhere around us.

Surprisingly, James didn't even try to ask us to stay. He just offered us both a wry smile and told me to feel better soon.

*

"So," Remus began as soon as we walked out of the crowded village center and were walking upward toward the castle. "What exactly happened at the bookshop?"

"Nothing," I said, wrapping my fingers around the strap of my satchel nervously.

"Are you sure? Padfoot seemed like he was ready to destroy something." I knew there was no use in lying to Remus in any situation, whether it be for his benefit or mine. He saw right through me simply because he wanted to, something I hated but appreciated at the best of times.

"Yes," I replied, despite my internal monologue.

"Did he get into an argument with his brother?" Remus asked.

"No."

For a moment, Remus didn't say anything. The birds chirped amicably above us, getting excited that summer was here, just as we were. We got a break from school, and the animals got a break from us - it was a win-win. Hogwarts during summer break seemed like a wonderland.

"The way he spoke to his brother was quite loud," Remus said, his hands clasped behind him. "But I didn't think it was that serious, until we saw the look on his face."

"It was a bit scary," I told him quietly.

"He'll calm down quickly," Remus murmured, squeezing my shoulder. "You know how he is. When it's things about his family he gets more tense much quicker. I'm worried about you, though."

"Me?"

"I feel like you're stopping yourself from everything because of us," he admitted.

"Well, so are you," I told him. "That's why we're all together."

"That's not what I meant," he said, pulling on my sleeve to guide me to the side entrance.

"What do you mean, then, Remus?"

Instead of replying, he shook his head, smiling at one of the professors that passed by us. "Nevermind. Come on, we're almost there."


End file.
